FOX News Defends Palin's $150K Wardrobe

Here's a quick clip of FOX News defending the fact that since being picked to be John McCain's running mate, the Republican National Committee has purchased $150,000 worth of clothing for Sarah Palin.

Bimbo: "Here's my challenge: when we stop treating women as sexist figures, ok? That we all talk about what we have on, and what their shoes look like, and how their hair looks, but we don't say that about any male candidate, when we stop doing that, then we can stop talking about how much money they spent on her clothes."

Maybe Blondie doesn't know this, or can't wrap her fat dyed head around it, but the fact is, the reason people aren't talking about McCain's wardrobe cost, or Obama's, or Biden's, is because THEY PAID FOR IT THEMSELVES.

Classic turning the issue around here. It has nothing to do with her fashion, or how she looks, or that she's a woman, or her hair or shoes or dresses. People care because American's putting "Country First" donated to their party only to have their party turn around and BLOW THOSE DONATIONS ON PANT SUITS.

Barbie: "We don't hear that about the guys folks. So let me find out how much did Barack Obama spend on his custom suits?"

Well Paris, please let me explain. The reason you don't know how much Obama has spent on his clothing is because HE PAID FOR IT HIMSELF.

Here's a little non-FOX recap of the Palin spending spree:

Post Debate Analogy...

Nuff Said....

Basic Outline: Obama's Economic Recovery Plan

Barack Obama held a rally today in Toledo, Ohio, and laid out his economic recovery plan. Here are the four major points:

1) $3,000 tax credit to businesses for every new job created over the next 2 years

2) A 90 day home foreclosure moratorium

3) Up to $10,000 penalty-free withdrawal from retirement savings accounts

4) Create a lending organization for states and local govs. to access funds outside the frozen credit market

Obama's also got a rescue plan for small business, which you can download here. Here's part of it:

"The facility will be run through the Small Business Administration’s (SBA) Disaster Loan Program, which is designed to offer affordable, fixed- rate loans to small firms to meet operating expenses, undertake needed short-term investments, or to refinance debt. Loans should be available on an expedited basis, so that firms can access the credit needed to meet their operating expenses immediately."

This rocks. McCain's new plan, beyond sticking tax payers with the cost of buying up bad toxic mortgages, is to say "I have a plan." And like the "I know how to get Osama bin Laden," he knows a bunch of stuff, he's just not telling.

Petraeus: "We Have to Talk to Enemies"

Fairly interesting, just a few weeks after Sarah Palin called Barack Obama "beyond naive" and "dangerous" for advocating sitting down with our enemies without preconditions, General David Petraeus said the same fucking thing:


(Petraeus quote comes after the first question from the audience, about an hour seven into the video)

Right. Good call Sarah. Obviously you believe Gen. Petraeus to also be naive and dangerous.

Pronouncing Words Correctly Is Elitist and Snotty

The National Review Online had two great little blurbs the other day discussing Obama's pronunciation of Pakistan. Here's the first:

The Hunched Pak of Notre Stan [Mark Steyn]

Re Senator Obama's ostentatiously exotic pronunciation of Pakistan, one thing I like about Sarah Palin is the way she says "Eye-raq".

Also the way she says Eye-talian. That's awesome. This is why Goerge W. is the MAN - he can't pronounce a fucking thing.

Here's the second blurb, an email to the NRO from a reader:

Running for President of Europe? [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

To: Kathryn Lopez
Subject: Liberal elite moment

When Obama says Pock-i-stahn I have an uncontrollable urge to read the New Yorker and find some Chardonnay.

Fortunately I have an old copy of NR and a Coors Light to snap me back to reality.

Seriously though — no one in flyover country says Pock-i-stahn. It's annoying.

Read the New Yorker AND drink Chardonnay?! Lemme guess, you also have a compelling desire to move to California, buy a Prius, and get gay married. Thankfully you had shitty and beer and worse reading material to prevent those effete liberal urges.

And you're right, correctly pronouncing the name of an American ally is not only silly, it's offensive to that country.

In closing, Fuck. Knowing. Stuff.

Debatable Humor: A Marathon Presidential Postmortem

Last night I joined GenEric, Wan Billions, Fink, and BreckBreck in watching the second presidential debate of 2008. While most of the poonditz thought this town hall style format was boring and uneventful, we found it to be the most entertaining and awesome debate ever.

The following are some quotes from the debate and our groups commentary on those quotes.

ECONOMY

Allen Shaffer (1st Question): "With the economy on the downturn and retired and older citizens and workers losing their incomes, what's the fastest, most positive solution to bail these people out of the economic ruin?"

Allen Shaffer: "How the fuck are you going to fix this colossal boner?

Obama: "And a lot of you I think are worried about your jobs, your pensions, your retirement accounts, your ability to send your child or your grandchild to college."

Bank runs, health care, whether I can afford PB&J sandwiches, sky rocketing gas prices, two wars, terrorism, America's diminishing respect around the world, Google ...

McCain: "Do you know that we've laid a $10 trillion debt on these young Americans who are here with us tonight, $500 billion of it we owe to China?"

USA: Um, can we have some more money?
China: Sure sure, of course, no problem, always here to help, how much you want?
USA: Any strings attached?
China: Nooooooooooo ...

Brokaw: "Who do you have in mind to appoint to Secretary of the Treasury?
McCain: "Not you, Tom."

Zing!

McCain: "I think the first criteria, Tom, would have to be somebody who immediately Americans identify with, immediately say, we can trust that individual."

... Jay Leno?

Brokaw: "May I remind both of you, if I can, that we're operating under rules that you signed off on and when we have a discussion, it really is to be confined within about a minute or so."

Brokaw: So remember gentlemen, these extremely complex issues on which the two of you have stark fundamental differences must only be discussed in the same amount of time it takes to microwave hot chocolate.

Oliver Clark (2nd Question): "Well, Senators, through this economic crisis, most of the people that I know have had a difficult time. And through this bailout package, I was wondering what it is that's going to actually help those people out."
McCain: "Well, thank you, Oliver, and that's an excellent question ...

Because it's exactly the same as the first one.

McCain: "... Because as you [Oliver] just described it, bailout, when I believe that it's a rescue."

Ahnold Schwarzenegger: "It's not a tumah!"

McCain: "I left my campaign and suspended it to go back to Washington to make sure that there were additional protections for the taxpayer in the form of good oversight, in the form of taxpayers being the first to be paid back when our economy recovers -- and it will recover -- and a number of other measures."

McCain: "Then I left Washington and restarted my campaign before any of that shit got done."

Obama: " If they can't get a loan, that means that they can't make payroll. If they can't make payroll, then they may end up having to shut their doors and lay people off. And if you imagine just one company trying to deal with that, now imagine a million companies all across the country."

Obama: "Now imagine a billion of those companies, a hundred gabillion, all across the universe. Now imagine John McCain naked. Can you really trust his old wrinkly balls? Obama '08.

Obama: "Now, I've got to correct a little bit of Sen. McCain's history, not surprisingly."

Obama: "Let's face it folks, he's old, he can't hear too well. In the first debate, it wasn't that he was being condescending by not looking at me, ever, it was just that he couldn't see me. He's like a T-Rex, except he can't see motion either.

Obama: "I wrote to Secretary Paulson, I wrote to Federal Reserve Chairman [Ben] Bernanke, and told them this is something we have to deal with, and nobody did anything about it."

Obama: "So instead of introducing legislation to stop it, cause you know, I am a LAWMAKER, I wrote another strongly worded letter."

McCain: "My friend, I'd like you to see the letter that a group of senators and I wrote warning exactly of this crisis. Sen. Obama's name was not on that letter."

Because you wrote it.

McCain: "Americans' workers are the best in the world. They're the fundamental aspect of America's economy. They're the most innovative. They're the best -- they're most -- have best -- we're the best exporters."

Nibb High football rules!

McCain: "And now I suggest that maybe you go to some of these organizations that are the watchdogs of what we do, like the Citizens Against Government Waste or the National Taxpayers Union or these other organizations that watch us all the time."

Like the millions of papers and magazines Sarah Palin reads but can't name.

McCain: "I don't expect you to watch every vote."

Thank God, cause that shit is BOOOOOORRRRRRRING.

McCain: "I have fought against excessive spending and outrages."

McCain fights outrage. Awesome. Something pissing you off? Well John McCain is going to whip your ass into happy complacency.

Brokaw: "We've run out of time. We have this one-minute discussion period going on here."

Brokaw: "Hot chocolate!"

Brokaw: "Health policies, energy policies, and entitlement reform, what are going to be your priorities in what order?"
McCain: "The three priorities were health ..."

Brokaw: "Christ you're old!"

Brokaw: The three -- health care, energy, and entitlement reform: Social Security and Medicare. In what order would you put them in terms of priorities?
McCain: I think you can work on all three at once, Tom.

McCain: "In other words, fuck your question Tom! I know you asked me a question, but I'm not going to answer it. Just like Sarah Palin. We don't answer questions cause we're the most mavericky mavericks in maverickland! ... Maverick.

McCain: "We're going to have to sit down across the table, Republican and Democrat, as we did in 1983 between Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neill. I know how to do that."

News Flash: McCain Knows How To Sit At a Table!

Brokaw: "I'm trying to play by the rules that you all established. One minute for discussion."

Brokaw: "Hot chocolate!"

Obama: "So when Sen. McCain proposes a $300 billion tax cut, a continuation not only of the Bush tax cuts, but an additional $200 billion that he's going to give to big corporations, including big oil companies, $4 billion worth, that's money out of the system."

Numbers ...

Brokaw: "All right, gentlemen, I want to just remind you one more time about time. We're going to have a larger deficit than the federal government does if we don't get this under control here before too long."

Brokaw: "For the last time, hot chocolate!"

McCain: "McCain: Well, you know, nailing down Sen. Obama's various tax proposals is like nailing Jell-O to the wall."

McCain: And believe you me, I have tried nailing Jell-O to the wall, and it is VERY difficult. Not sure why I tried nailing Jell-O to the wall, but I did, and it was IMPOSSIBLE. Which is something I didn't expect before trying to nail Jell-O to a wall.

Brokaw: "Well, look, guys, the rules were established by the two campaigns, we worked very hard on this."

Brokaw: You guys agreed to hot chocolate, if you're not going to play by the hot chocolate rules, then by God NOBODY GETS HOT CHOCOLATE! ... Moving to health care.

HEALTH CARE

McCain: "My friends, what we have to do with Medicare is have a commission, have the smartest people in America come together, come up with recommendations, and then, like the base-closing commission idea we had, then we should have Congress vote up or down."

... What the fuck is he talking about? Presumably something like this:

McCain: "Let's look at our records, my friends, and then listen to my vision for the future of America. And we'll get our economy going again. And our best days are ahead of us."

McCain: And all you need is love. And let's get together and be all right. And ... Nibb High football rules!

CLIMATE CRISIS

McCain: "Now, how -- what's -- what's the best way of fixing it [the climate crisis]? Nuclear power. Sen. Obama says that it has to be safe or disposable or something like that."

McCain: "Safe, or disposable, or not toxic, or away from children or whatever.

Obama: "Because if we create a new energy economy, we can create five million new jobs, easily, here in the United States. It can be an engine that drives us into the future the same way the computer was the engine for economic growth over the last couple of decades."

Obama: "You know, John, the C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R. Internet? That email shit you have no earthly idea how to check?"

Obama: "He said a while back that the big problem with energy is that for 30 years, politicians in Washington haven't done anything. What Sen. McCain doesn't mention is he's been there 26 of them."

Oh snap!

Brokaw: Gentlemen, you may not have noticed, but we have lights around here. They have red and green and yellow and they are to signal...
Obama: I'm just trying to keep up with John.
McCain: Tom, wave like that and I'll look at you.

Brokaw: Like this? (gesticulates wildly)
McCain: No more like this. (continues trend of wild gesticulation)
Brokaw: How bout I just make a "kaaw" sound like a dying crow?
McCain: Perfect.

McCain: "It was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate loaded down with goodies, billions for the oil companies, and it was sponsored by Bush and Cheney. You know who voted for it? You might never know. That one. You know who voted against it? Me."

Republican Presidential nominee John McCain refers to Barack Obama as "That one" while jabbing a gnarled old finger in his general direction. No joke here, just, wow.

BACK TO HEALTH CARE

McCain: "And we need to do all of the things that are necessary to make it more efficient. Let's put health records online,"

How bout we start with putting YOUR health record online you old lying fuck?

Rest of the debate will be commented on later ... right now, after all that, I need a fuckin beer.

Thanks for reading,

-CB

Greatest Reality Show On Planet: America Gets A Bullshit Meter

Tonight, at the second presidential debate in the 2008 election for the White House, Senator Barack Obama cemented his path to being on money.

Over the last decade or so, the American public has been inundated with reality television. And not that Blind Date, Love Connectinos Chuck Woolery shit, real in your face people go totally fucking bonkers right in front of national audience type shit like Survivor, Big Brother, The Real World, Road Rules, Flava of Love, Raise My Newborn etc.

After eight years of reality television, the American Public has developed an impeccable Bullshit Meter.

There are numerous historic aspects of this campaign; the first black man nominated by a major party for the presidency of the United States; the first time neither a president nor vice president has not run in an election; and most importantly, the existence of technology and infrastructure to document a presidential race with the utter intensity of the greatest reality television show on the planet.

Example: CNN's real time Perception Analyzer, also known as a Bullshit Meter.

After over a year and a half of stump speeches, interviews, rallies, drop outs, headlines, score cards, blogs, debates, votes, hoop jumping, editorials, commentary, analysis, and mother fucking YouTube, the American citizenry is calling bullshit every second of the way.

Media: Jump through this hoop!
Clinton: You got it!
Huckabee: No problem!
Obama: Done.
Fred Thompson: I don't do stunts.

Bullshit! Get out of the fuckin race.

At tonight's debate, the American Public did not buy what John McCain is selling. They voted him off the island.

This election is over. And thank God, it's a fucking landslide for Barack Obama.