CBS Dean Reynolds is a Wimp

So two days ago CBS' Dean "Wuss Bucket" Reynolds sat down at his laptop and posted a piece for the CBS news blog "From the Road". However this piece was not an in depth policy dissection, or even any new reporting on what candidates were saying, doing, lying about etc.

This piece was a giant sob fest detailing how he and the press corps weren't being treated to 5 star standards by the Obama campaign. Here are some quotes:

"Baggage calls are preposterously early"

"I ... idled for two hours in a Miami hotel parking lot"

He's also TOTALLY PISSED that the campaign is on the road during the time when the CBS evening News airs therefor cutting his own time on screen as the broadcast puts an emphasis on live reporting.

He also has no idea why the Obama camp can't print a schedule.

And here's the best gem:

"The McCain campaign plane is better than Obama's, which is cramped, uncomfortable and smells terrible most of the time."

Are you fucking serious Dean "Wimpyshits" Reynolds? Yeah it must TOTALLY SUCK to be jet setting across the continent with the next leader of the free world with all expenses paid not to mention being paid to write while you do it.

Beyond that, and this is the INFURIATING aspect, Dean "I Just Forfeited My Right to be Called Journalist" Reynolds, who some bigwig moron at CBS has decided is worthy of such a job, devotes his space on a website with a MASSIVE readership to bitch and moan that the Obama camp is not catering to him hand and foot.

I wonder if Dean "My Mother Still Does My Laundry" Reynolds has ANY IDEA that there are folks out there LOSING THEIR JOBS, and shitty jobs at that. I wonder if Dean "The Housemaid Wipes My Ass" Reynolds is aware of the fact that people's homes are being foreclosed and they now have to live in the streets.

So tell me this Dean "Will Somebody Please Cut My Sirloin Steak Into Little Edible Pieces" Reynolds, which smells worse, the Obama plane or the dirty cardboard box in the middle of an alley MILLIONS OF AMERICANS live in?

Sarah Palin's Inexplicable Sub-moronic Drivel

Bob Cesca wrote a post yesterday detailing the McCain-Palin campaign's strategy to win the election - blurt out random crap (great piece, recommend reading). It appears that last night, in her interview with Katie Couric, Gov. Palin put that strategy to work.

Kouric asks Palin about the bail out, and here is the response:

"Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions."

Um ...

Fucking what? What the hell did you just say woman? My brain actually got smaller after I heard this. Seriously, Sarah Palin spoke, I listened, my brain recoiled in horror and shrunk, and I am now dumber.

Let's break this audacious idiocy into more digestible parts.

"Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy."

What the fuck does that even mean? Call me crazy, but I think what people are concerned about as the economy bursts into flames and is promptly flushed down the toilet, are their mortgages foreclosing, or their credit rates spiking, or losing their retirement savings. Exactly how does health care reform (which to McCain means deregulating the industry - brilliant!) help fix the economy?

Second part of the answer:

"Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions."

Yes Sarah, job creation good, wildly dangerous spending bad. I think my favorite part about this sentence (using a very loose definition of the word sentence here) is that "reducing taxes ... has got to accompany tax reductions." I think it's fair to say you can't have one without the other.

In conclusion, if you do feel like killing off some brain cells sans alcohol or other illicit substances, go ahead and watch Gov. Palin's performance on CBS. The random, inexplicable and totally illogical babble should easily put you in an altered state - in which you will need to be should this woman win the vice presidency.