CNN's Rick Sanchez is a Ball Busting Ass Kicker

In you missed it, I am not usually a fan of pundits/anchors/commentators at CNN named Sanchez. However, over the last few months, one specific Sanchez at CNN, Rick Sanchez, has stood out in terms of calling any and all fuckers for what they really are - lying douchecocks.

Here's the first example:



Goldfarb: "You know who it it."
Sanchez: "I have no idea. Who?"
Goldfarb: "You know."
Sanchez: "I really don't."
Goldfarb: "I think you do."
Sanchez: "I have no fucking clue who you're talking about and neither does anyone who's watching this program so if you would, please tell us who on God's green earth you're fucking referring to!"
Goldfarb: "... You know."

Fuck yeah Rick! Go get 'em buddy! Although I have taken giant dumps on CNN in the past (and will likely continue to do so), the Best Political Team on Television is just starting to catch a glimpse of what that title means.

It means calling people out when they are lying. When candidate X says "Dogs lick their own ass," and Candidate Y says "Dogs NEVER lick their own ass," it is not enough for the pundit to say "Well that's the argument, differing viewpoints here, but boy what a discussion!" The pundit needs to call out Candidate Y and say "No you fucking douchey little turd burgler, dogs are CONSTANTLY licking their own asses. I own two dogs, my parents have a dog, my best friend is veterinarian and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a freakin doubt that dogs FUCKING LOVE the taste of their own asses."

So, in closing, thank you Mr. Sanchez, for not totally sucking dog ass.

CNN Thinks All Women Are Catty Bitches

I am thoroughly convinced that CNN is determined to piss off women. Last night, the cable news network broadcast the vice presidential debates and, like they did with the presidential debates, had a group of undecided Ohio voters weighing in on the proceedings in real time with a nifty contraption called a "Perception Analyzer".

However, unlike the presidential debate, which divided the group of undecided voters into Democrats, Republicans, and Independents, for the VP debate, CNN divided the same group by gender. Seriously.

And, as suspected, women LOVE Joe Biden:



Also, as suspected, women are catty bitches who HATE other successful women:



My mother even called the little trick "demeaning". And I agree. I mean honestly, the only difference between the presidential and vice presidential debates was that one candidate in the latter happens to be a woman. This should not be an issue. I could care less whether or not the candidate has literal balls. The only thing I am evaluating this candidate on is whether or not I believe they can do the job. Not how the candidate does with male or female voters. Not how hot the candidate is (though, admittedly, that helps), and certainly not on whether their anatomy possesses a wiener.

Feel free to chime in here if you think I am over reacting, but seriously, what the hell was CNN thinking?

New York I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down

As I was getting ready for SuperShuttle to pick me up for my 8:30am flight to NY, I was killing time on CNN. Not much better than Fox these days (maybe one day I'll rant about Nancy Grace, or, dare I even mention, Glen Bleck), but it seems our cable choices are increasingly more limited. Anyway. Live report, from JFK- the JetBlue terminal nonetheless (lucky me, that was my airline)- some genius thought it would be a good idea to pack his replica WWII grenades on his little Manhattan getaway.... consequentially shutting down the JetBlue terminal. Selfishly, I just wanted to know if my flight would be on time. Turns out, the damn things were PAPERWEIGHTS and the world can rest at peace because I got to JFK at 4:35 pm, as scheduled. More of my NY travels to come...