Drill This Fuckheads

I am by no means an environmentalist. I smoke and toss my cigarette butts wherever, I litter, and I fart constantly (methane mothafucka!). However, I do know the difference between a solution to a problem and repackaged spin ridden talking point bullshit being passed off as a solution. In this case, the problem is America's addiction to oil, and the repackaged useless crap of a solution is offshore drilling.

The two big problems with America's seemingly insatiable appetite for oil are pretty obvious: 1) Most oil comes from countries/regions that can't fucking stand us and 2) US consumption of oil is totally fucking the environment in the ass.

So why, you may ask, is offshore drilling a bullshit non-solution? Because according to the governments own analysis, a widespread offshore drilling program “would result in a price reduction of perhaps two-tenths of one cent 18 years after drilling begins.” Put another way, 18 years after drilling starts, you might save LESS THAN A FUCKING PENNY at the pump.

Of course this is no matter to people like Glen Beck who call anyone who advocates against drilling an idiot because drilling is reasonably safe environmentally.

What is so INFURIATING about this is that this asinine argument, to drill or not to drill, whether or not drilling is safe etc., is the wrong fucking debate to be having. Either way you look at it, it's still oil, and consumption of that oil is still going to fuck the environment in the pooper, and we'll still be a slave to those countries that hate us for the next 18 fucking years.

The conversation that should be going is what are our ALTERNATIVES TO OIL. We should be debating whether or not using the world's corn to produce ethanol is a good thing considering the food shortage threatening nearly 1 billion people around the world. We should be asking whether wind generated energy is too sporadic and unpredictable, and would underwater turbines propelled by the always predictable ocean tides be a better way to go (I do happen to watch a fair bit of Discovery Channel). We should be considering new public works projects that provide incentives to American companies who devote R&D money to inventing, producing and marketing eco-friendly vehicles.

What we should NOT be discussing are gas tax holidays, windfall taxes, and OFFSHORE FUCKING DRILLING. "Drill here. Drill now" huh? How bout you drill this you brain dead lying fuckheads.