Thursday, September 25, 2008

You're more qualified than you think...

The Governor of Alaska and Republican Vice Presidential candidate, AND hot-MILF-hockey-mom, Sarah Palin made it abundantly clear in her interview with Katie Couric the other night that she has plenty of foreign policy experience (as if there were any doubt). Her qualifications, according to her, is that she can see Russia from her back yard, a mere 58 miles from the Northern most tip of the state, and that if Russian President Vladimir Putin were to fly to the United State he'd have to fly over Alaskan air space. Well, that's good enough for me, sold! It did get me thinking though, if by merely being close to a significant landmark gives you so called experience than I must be more qualified that I thought to do shit I never thought I could do. And this goes for you too. Example: I grew up in Baltimore, (that's in Maryland), and from my back yard I could see Memorial Stadium and for all you sports nuts out there, that's where the Baltimore Orioles and Ravens played before they moved to Camden Yards. So, using the Governor's unique Palin-ocratic methodology, I am qualified to be a major league baseball player. Fuck yea, I made it to the big leagues, Dad! Or better yet, I can replace Kyle Boller as the quarterback for the Ravens.

Now, for all you under achievers out there, here's a little game we can all play, go out to your back yard and look around. What can you see? Now, look very carefully because according to Sarah, if you can see something significant you have experience in whatever it is that you're looking at. It's just that simple. If you can see a hospital then you're qualified to be the Surgeon General, (C. "See" Everett Coop, sorry I couldn't resist). Can you see a police station? Guess what, you have enough experience to be the Secretary of Defense and if you're one of the geographically privileged and your back yard faces your State's border, guess what you have enough experience to be qualified to do? Yup, move over Condi, you too can be Secretary of State.

You see my fellow Americans, if we simply lower our standards enough for what our elected officials are qualified to do then we can all hold a major office in the United States government. If that isn't a testament to how far our young country has come then I don't know what is. God Bless America!

P.S. On second thought, John McCain should have selected someone who's backyard faces 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

1 comment:

Carl Benson said...

I can see the sky from wherever I am, so does that qualify me to be an astronaut? Woot! Fuck you Will Smith in "Independence Day"!