Uppity: The New "Black"

Yo, yo, yo, a very, very special shout out goes out to congressional candidate Rick Goddard, former Speaker of da House Newt Gingrich, (holla!), and Georgia Congressman Lynn Westmoreland (he's so important he has three last names in one) for serving up some much needed humble pie to all us "uppity" black folk out there dat had fo-gotten our place herrre in America. Fo' real, it seems dat we have been way outta place by tryin' to ack all smart and intelligence so let me speak for all us black folks and say, "My Bad"! You see, after we was so graciously given our civil rights way, way, waaay back in 1964, a mere 102 years after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, (sorry for using dem big words), we's been actin' a mutherfuckin' fool. We has been going to schools and lernin' how to read books and rite words and stuff and lately we has even been runnin' for the highest political office. Now, I don't know why we needs to be doin' all dat stuff because ya'll been taking such good care of us since ya'll brung us here 300 years ago and treated us so, so good. But that hasn't stopped some of us from actin', as you've recently and frequently put it, "uppity". And thank goodness that you're calling attention to this uppity behavior now before it gets out of hand, because you know us black folk, if you give is an inch we takes a mile. Before you know it we'll be questioning our leaders out loud and in public. Take that colored MSNBC reporter Ron "Uppity" Allen for example. He had the audacity to actually ask Newt "minority champion" Gingrich whether Sarah "I can field dress a moose" Palin was qualified to be the next Vice President of the United States. Oh Snap, no he didn't! This uppity behavior has to stop. Just because he went to school and got a job at MSNBC as a journalist (no doubt by affirmative action denying some equally qualified white man the job) what gives him the right to question this woman. I mean, she was the a Mayor of the 55,000th largest town in the country and Governor of the 47th least populated state. Qualifed? I think that goes without saying Mister-I-don't-know-my-place-uppity-colored-negro-man, and your press credentials should be revoked for even asking.

Listen up uppity black people! Let's not forget our place in this country, AIGHT! Now just because the law says we is equal, dat don't mean we have equal rights, you listenin'? We still have to know our place and realize dat we don't actually have any right to question the decisions of the government officials we elect. We have to earn it first, ya'll. Let's take Barack, Uppity-House-Negro, Obama for example. He thinks dat being raised by a single mother on welfare (of course), subsequently graduating from Harvard Law School (fo' reals?), being a community leader in the slums of Chicago, fighting for the rights of the under privileged, and at the same time raising a beautiful family (his baby momma is hizz-ott) gives him the right to run for President and question the qualifications and judgments of The Maverick. Who does he think he is? Well, Georgia Congressman Lynn Westmoreland summed it up best when he said, "Just from what little I've seen of Mr. Obama, (still not sure how he's missed him the last 20 months), he's a member of an elitist-class and thinks he's uppity". WORD to yo' mutha Mr. Westmoreland, well said! Someone had to put that Nigg.., eh, hem, uppity DUDE in his place. I swear, if we keep this uppity behavior up, we'll put ourselves at risk for having the Mexicans wanting to become U.S. citizens and then we'll all be sorry.