Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Typical Stoner: Just Like You!

Every Wednesday I nab a copy of SF Weekly to get my fill of local politics, check what the music scene is doing, and to see which new play theater critic Chloe Veltman has assuredly thrown under a bus and crapped all over. One thing I've noticed in my perusals of said paper are a number of advertisements for medical marijuana. This post is on my particular favorite series by MediCann titled, "A Typical Stoner".

The basic premise is that every day people, from working stiffs to elitist snobs are smoking the doob for justifiable medical reasons. So with that in mind, I give you "A Typical Stoner" (with snarky commentary):

Hot young assistant to high maintenance Hollywood celebrity (communist princess) NEEDS to smoke weed because, fuck, could you put up with this unless you were totally stoned out of your ever lovin gourd?

Next up: The High Powered Stock Broker

Numbers, formulas, general math, risks, futures, and gambling with other peoples money just feel all blurred together unless I roll up a T-joint fatty and inhale it straight to my dome (note: if suffering from clinical anxiety but don't live in a state which allows medical marijuana, be sure to have a large supply of Rogaine to regrow all the hair you apparently pull at constantly).

Next up: The Sexy Marketing Wet Dream

That's right, even pant suits get high (Hillary Clinton totally inhales). You see, it's nearly impossible to bat away the trite and inauthentic advertising ideas while sober, which is why Patricia up there regularly whips out her defibulator bong and hot boxes the the copy room.

And finally: The Soon To Be Prosecutor

Definitely my favorite, the young man studying his heart out learn the fundamental theories of our justice system so he can change the world one public defense at a time puffs the federally illegal magic dragon as much as possible before swearing an oath to uphold the law of a state which bucks the rule of the country.

And to top it all off, did you know this guy is "A Typical Stoner"?

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